Forgiveness

(The first in a 4-part series)

We've been hearing a lot lately about forgiveness. Politicians, religious leaders and people on talk shows have been discussing it at great length.

But what exactly is forgiveness? Do we really need it? If so, why? How do we go about it? And how do we know when we have truly forgiven another or received God's forgiveness? These are the questions we will explore in this series of articles.

First, let's define what we mean by forgiveness. We've all been told we should "forgive and forget" past hurts. But most of us cannot forget all past painful experiences and those we do forget remain in our subconscious minds. That only makes them more difficult to deal with.

How about "I can forgive them, but I can never forget what they did to me." This also is not true forgiveness. It implies we are still holding on to some resentment, perhaps even wallowing in it to get sympathy from others.

So what is true forgiveness? Well, the Course In Miracles says, "Forgiveness does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin." This concept, while philosophically profound, is very difficult for most of us to actually experience. So let's say that forgiveness means "Changing my mental and emotional reactions when I remember past events". This we can do.

But why bother? Well, the resentment we feel when we believe someone has hurt us, or the guilt we feel when we believe we have done something "unforgivable" can make us physically ill. Resentment and guilt slow our progress toward maturity and interfere with our spiritual growth. At the very least they are like a heavy burden, diminishing our enjoyment of life.

If forgiveness is so important, then why is it so hard for most of us to do? The answer of course, is that we are creatures of habit. We are inherently resistant to change. But for those of us who take the time and put forth the effort to forgive ourselves and others the rewards are great. The increased joy in life we experience makes all the effort worthwhile.

Subsequent articles in this series will present step-by-step processes for forgiving oneself and others. In the next article we will consider the principles on which these processes are based.

Forgiveness - Part 2